Yelping with Cormac

Because Yelp Needs Cormac McCarthy

Starbucks

Bismarck, ND

Cormac M. | Author | Lost in the chaparral, NM

One Star.

Wallace and old man Tucker sat the horses and watched the cattle cropping the tallgrass on the rincon blazed amber by the shallow and palegold morning sun. The horses pricked their ears in unison and soon Madison pulled up in the battered Ford. He stepped out in new boots and carrying a small paper cup. He said good morning to the others. Wallace turned to look at him but Tucker kept his eyes on the cattle.

What’s that, said Wallace.

What.

The cup.

This here’s a latté.

A what?

A deluxe coffee, Wallace. Four dollars of brown gold.

Wallace leaned down and grabbed the cup from Madison’s hand and took a drink. He spat it out. Goddamn, he said. Tastes like a pregnant mare’s urine.

No it dont. Give it here.

Wallace wiped his face with his arm. Tastes like spent cartridges in a pickle jar.

Come on now. It aint that bad.

Wallace leaned and offered the cup to Tucker. You try it, he said.

Tucker let the bridlereins rest on the pommel and holding the cup two handed took a drink. He handed the cup back to Wallace and continued looking at the cattle and the shimmering grass and the mountains knifing into the blue canopy above. Wallace and Madison waited but the older man sat there for a while and said nothing.

Well go on, what’s it taste like, said Madison.

Tucker leaned from the saddle and spat in the tallgrass. Tastes like snake venom, he said.

How do you know?

Was a time I had to suck the venom from a person very dear to me who was snakebit. That’s how I come to taste it.

What happened to them.

Her, he said. The old man dug his heels into the bay and they headed upcountry toward the cattle rivering the meadow, the horse pluming great steaming breaths in the chill morning air and the younger men watching in silence.

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    beyond the realm of laughter
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  15. erikdeckers reblogged this from yelpingwithcormac and added:
    I just discovered Yelping with Cormac via The Twitter. This is one of the funniest damn things I’ve seen in a while....
  16. oxicleanforme reblogged this from yelpingwithcormac and added:
    Oh Lord, Cormac McCarthy sure says it better than I.
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  19. snikolhaus reblogged this from yelpingwithcormac and added:
    made my afternoon. Read...whole thing, twice.
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  21. princessstomper reblogged this from yelpingwithcormac and added:
    McCarthy wrote Yelp reviews …
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